It suddenly occurred to me today, that I have been experiencing something that I have not experienced since about 1985 when I was somewhat jealous of Rosie Lee having an Acorn Computer in her bedroom. I was 5 at the time, her father was a doctor and her mother had obviously come from a well to do background and so it made sense that she could experience certain luxuries, although I don’t remember going into so much of a thought process back then.
I came to realise pretty early on in life to be grateful for what you have. I put that down to having a good moral upbringing. I can’t remember other examples of jealously rearing its ugly head until this last month. What was it that had suddenly sparked this old dormant emotion inside me?
Now I am sure I am not alone in this feeling, although some people may not want to admit it quite as openly as I about to. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am not afraid to tell my story if it helps others overcome their less then welcomes traits.
Since discovering my true passion and following it with all my heart and soul, I have found myself getting quite frustrated whenever I meet, hear, stumble across some one who is doing what I want to do in business… How very dare they lol…who on earth do they think they are?…I do make myself laugh sometimes.
I put my jealously down to the passion, to the eagerness to please, to the relentless need to reach my dreams, to the strong knowing and confidence I have inside me. Knowing now that I am capable of great things. I really hope my friends know me well enough now to know that I am not just blowing my own trumpet, I am merely more comfortable in my own skin. Believe me; it has taken me 30 years to feel this way and I am not going to become ashamed of having this confidence now, I am not perfect by any stretch but I am confident enough in my ability to succeed and to help others also succeed.
I wanted to grab hold of my jealously and put all the energy that I was giving to this feeling to good use. So this is what I have come up with. I hope if you are experiencing jealousy and frustration in your business it is for the same reason as me, that you have so much to give and you are just overly eager to reach your ultimate goal.
Jealously born out of hate, spite and an expecting everything for nothing mentality is not what I am referring to. If you are Jealous of others but you are not really doing anything to personally development yourself through, education, knowledge, skills and self improvement then you really don’t deserve to be jealous at all. (tough love from Beth, hmm)
So this is my strategy. When doubt takes over and you don’t think you are good enough or that you will never have what the other person does, remember this:
Hope that is food for thought, or at least food to tame your green eyed monster, and if there is even the slightest chance that you are jealous of me lol…let me know. It might be that we have so much in common, that we are likeminded and we were supposed to work together?
Yours in Success,
P.S If you are struggling with your marketing efforts and not generating enough leads and money. Check out the exact system that I use to generate endless leads through the most current social networking strategies. Don’t Miss This ==> Discovery The Strategies
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August 5th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
I love your writing style and what you had to say Beth. Don’t let doubt creep into your thoughts because you are committed to following your North Star. http://prosperyourmind.blog.com/2010/05/27/the-pull-of-your-north-star/
Michael
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August 5th, 2010 at 10:47 pm
You are a beautiful human being. Thanks for sharing…I would love to partner with you on anything because I love your heart and spirit.
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August 6th, 2010 at 1:45 am
Beth,
Great personal journey here and I admire your conviction to not let the powerful emotion of jealousy to overwhelm you.
Our thoughts and feelings have more power over our live than we sometimes imagine.
I don’t mean in just our perception of the world but what life gives us as a result.
If you had of kept wallowing in jealousy life would have given you more “ammunition” to be jealous of.
You would have actually created what you most dreaded. Insightful and enjoyable post.
Steve Shoemaker
Steve Shoemaker´s last [type] ..Ten Twitter Tools I Twuly Love
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August 6th, 2010 at 2:05 am
Hi Beth,
You hit it right on the nail at the end of this post which is to compliment, share and grow. Jealousy doesn’t have to be negative, but it can be the spark for you to see what you’re doing wrong in your business and find a fix for it. The fix can be from tweaking something within your blog or following the footsteps of someone that’s having great success. Thanks for sharing!
Sherman
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August 6th, 2010 at 2:28 am
There is room for everyone in this world. I sat next to someone at a networking meeting today who is basically doing the same thing I am doing and we both started our businesses at about the same time. I figure we both have something to add to the field. You are unique and if you bring yourself into your business nobody can duplicate that. Thanks for being so honest about your green eyed monster.
Nicole Rushin´s last [type] ..Stop Talking about Personal Branding!
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August 6th, 2010 at 4:42 am
Hey Beth
Love this, and yes will openly admit to feeling like you have before. Quite recent in fact. But like you I am comfortable enough in my own skin to take a breath and turn it into the positive experience it should be. There are so many things that we can learn from each other. The negative jealous energy just keeps you from moving forward successfully.
Love your posts, always a pleasure to come and read what you have to say here!
cheers ~ Nat
Nat @Successful Entrepreneurs´s last [type] ..How To Get Started With Your GetResponse Account – A Brief Overview
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August 6th, 2010 at 11:44 am
Hi Beth,
I too have battled that same awful monster in my time so I know exactly how that feels.
I discovered that mine was powered by the fear that there wasn’t enough success to go around and that fact that somebody else had achieved this, meant there was now even less for everybody else to have. It use to cause me the most frightful anxiety. I did a lot of work to change my beliefs and slowly but surely the monster stopped calling around.
Thanks for sharing your awesome post!
~Marcus
Marcus Baker@network marketing internet business´s last [type] ..How to be the Life of the Social Media Party
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bethhewitt80 Reply:
August 7th, 2010 at 8:33 pm
Hi Marcus,
I appreciate your comment, isn’t it a great feeling to know that there is enough success out there for everyone we just have to create it.
Beth
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August 6th, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Hey Beth,
Great post! I’ve found myself in the same situation as you have a few times during my entrepreneurial journey. Unfortunately, when I let that energy and frustration get the best of me it would only make me procrastinate and I would get further away from my goals.
Now I make it a point when I start to feel those feelings I take a step back and congratulate myself for how far I have come. If I feel a ton of negative energy I leave my computer and work out to release some of that energy. It’s been working wonders!
Thanks for sharing such a valuable post, Beth!
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bethhewitt80 Reply:
August 7th, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Hey Shaylee,
So glad that you have found a way to deal with your monster. It is important to congratulate ourselves as often as possible,
Beth x
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August 9th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
Beth,
Love how you are taking a potential negative and turning it into something positive that may support you in growing and learning. The green eyed monster never serves anyone. Blocking that power and opening up to sharing and support is so much more rewarding.
Thanks for your refreshing ideas!
Val
Val Wilcox´s last [type] ..The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living
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August 11th, 2010 at 3:46 am
Hi Beth, first of all, I have to say that I admire your cander. I love when people are honest and open. Those are the easiest people to work with. You never have to guess what they are thinking.
As far as jealousy is concerned, I have discovered over the years that it is next to impossible to judge someones life based on the part that you see. I suspect that that is the reason that I don’t worry about if others are doing better or if they are in the same market as I am. I try to stay on my own path and blame only myself if I don’t reach my goals and dreams. After all, I am the only one I can control.
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bethhewitt80 Reply:
August 14th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Hey Karin,
You make a really important point, that what we see on the outside isn’t always the full picture. We are all certainly in control of our own destiny.
Beth
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August 12th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Being in envy of what someone else has really is a wasted emotion. If you really desire what that person has. Be it there fame or achievements be willing to put in the work it takes. Then simply ask them how they did it, most people will tell you.
But studying that person will give up a lot of there secrets provided your looking with an open eye.
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August 13th, 2010 at 11:00 am
Perhaps a negative quality overlooked by many. I think we all get a little frustrated sometimes when our own creative abilities will not lead us to the promised land.
We have to be patient and wait our time.
Thanks for that unique perspective and experience you have Beth.
Andrew Gallagher´s last [type] ..The Aaachoo network review- Why not get paid for social networking
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August 13th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Hi there Beth! You have a lot of good points sited on your Article. I really like the fact how you turn Jealousy into something positive that would help yourself and others as well.
Keith Goeringer´s last [type] ..Productivity in Information Overload
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August 14th, 2010 at 12:49 am
I love the fact that I’m not alone with these feelings. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and feel I’m in a saturated niche because I see so many others out there doing similar things but then I start to think that means I have so many more great colleagues to learn and grow with. Share our triumphs and trials with. I look forward to reading your next post.
Juniper@Personal Development and Online Marketing´s last [type] ..How To Simplify Your Life And Enjoy It – Part II
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August 14th, 2010 at 11:20 am
You write well Beth and I found myself nodding and smiling in agreement with you whilst reading this post. Often self-doubt goes hand in hand with jealousy. Hard work really does pay off. I think we have a similar way of thinking
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August 17th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Love this post Beth.
I always remember what Janet Bray Attwood says in her book The Passion Test; when you see a person who has something you want for yourself, move beyond envy or resentment and instead just celebrate their achievement and say ‘That’s for me!’
Each of us will have our time if we persist with our passion.
I always love your posts. Thanks for this one. Saz.
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September 23rd, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Beth,who has not experienced the Green Eyed Monster? Thanks for opening you heart and telling your story.
Your strategy is filled with golden nuggets. I have personally seen great results in not competing, but complementing and sharing.
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October 1st, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Funny how the universe brings information to you when you need it. I was having this exact conversation last night with my husband – that I was becoming aware of this weird feeling in myself and realized it was jealousy or competitiveness. I think it steps from the “old school” sales mentality that you are always positioning yourself against your competition….”competition” being the key word. We aren’t always taught to promote others, since this could take away from our own business.
But I agree with you and many of the commenters – this ultimately stems from fear. Fear of not being good enough and self doubt. Fear of not enough for everyone. Seriously, no matter what market/niche you’re in, and how many people are in it too, there is room for everyone and their unique perspectives and insight. Support that. Encourage that. And in the end we’ll all be better for it!
This also makes me think of the Crab Theory…and some crazy innate desire to pull others down who are getting ahead. Why do we do that? Let’s stop – and together we can all get out of that bucket.
Thanks for reminding me I’m not the only one who is/has struggled with this – and that we can overcome it.
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bethhewitt80 Reply:
October 3rd, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Karie,
You are definitely not along on this one. Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it.
Beth
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August 28th, 2011 at 9:05 pm
good post Beth, sometimes i get jealousy too especially when i see my friends what they have or what they achieved but then i realize that most of the times those things are not what i want, person should focus on its own priority…
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September 1st, 2011 at 4:37 am
I love it that you are so comfortable in your skin, Beth. You have already proven that you are capable of great things. This blog is just one instance – you’re always sharing and inspiring your readers to greater heights. Thanks for being you!
Teresa Ivory´s last [type] ..Success Stories: Karen Woolfall, Following Her Dreams
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September 2nd, 2011 at 10:15 am
Thank you Teresa for sharing this through facebook…I saw it and had to read it because it’s the very same thing I experienced when I first started my business…and I remember being stunned because I never thought I would struggle with those types of feelings to such an extreme. It was certainly an eye opener for me! I’m glad I had the experience though…it’s as if the green eyed monster would have just been buried deep inside unless I had taken the entrepreneurial road. Instead, he read his head and I got to kick him to the curb. Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Beth! It helped me feel better about mine.
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bethhewitt80 Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Hey Jenn,
Thank you so much for your comment and stopping by. I wanted to write about this, because it is a common feeling, although not too many people will admit that I guess.
Please come back again soon. I look forward to connecting with you.
Beth
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September 2nd, 2011 at 11:31 am
This blog really inspires a lot of people and I am one of them…Thank you!!
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September 8th, 2011 at 10:14 pm
Hello Beth
Your strategy is tremendous, especially your last one about competition. In “The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles says, “You must get rid of the thought of competition. You are to create, not to compete for what is already created. You do not have to take anything away from anyone…” Wallace D. Wattles, Science of Getting Rich. When you share with others you definitely grow. Thanks for writing about an age old problem. I think Cain murdered his brother because this was a part of his heart. Very inspiring post
Thanks
Perry A Davis Jr
Music City
Perry A Davis Jr @Network Marketing Nut and Bolts that make building your business Fun, Simple, Magical and Profitable.s´s last [type] ..What might be the most important idea of the “now” and “next” of network marketing ?
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October 13th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
On reflection, I think I get jealous when I believe I can’t have or do something that someone else has or can but if what they have is within my reach easily then I don’t feel that way. There’s definitely an effort component to it though, if I know I could do it with lots of effort and can’t be bothered, like run a marathon then I can also feel some negativity.
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